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I'm tired of this endless cycle of obsession and heart wrenching pain. I hit a new low, obsessing over a woman who I've never even met in person. I finally sought therapy because the pain and sadness I was experiencing have become unbearable and it only got worse when she finally said that we were never going to happen. My stomach has constantly been in knots and my chest felt like I was being stabbed. Talking to her doesn't even bring me joy anymore, it feels broken. I can't tell if she's actually changed the way she talks to me or if I've changed the way I view the things she says but everything feels so hollow and soulless now. I can't believe I fantasized for months about just hopping a plane to where she is and meeting up with her to confess that I wanted to be with her and that I couldn't live without her. The worst part is that I still feel everything. I still get jealous and angry when she posts on social media while I'm waiting on her to reply, I still get possessive, I still wait for her messages like a dog at the door checking my phone over and over and over just waiting for the notification sound to play so I can see what she said. I cried the night she finally laid down a boundary, not just tears rolling down the cheeks, I'm talking ugly snot dripping down your face struggling to breathe type sobbing. I hope therapy helps otherwise the only option left to me is medical intervention.